Jail Bait

Liz: Sweetie are you there? Guess where the hell I was all night last night!!!

Bob: Yep what’ sup and it is so nice to know that I am your sweetie

Liz: Man, You won’t believe where I was all night last night!

Bob: jail

Liz: oh my GOD! How did you know!

Bob: don’t laugh; poor Domme juicy spent the night in jail. It must be a karmic thing

Liz: it was – well an experience to say the least

Bob: she was in jail for possession of a prescribed weapon. You?

Liz: it wasn’t for my “profession” in fact was telling detectives all about it in the car heading to storage unit to pick up loft girls crap that I took out of her loft to hold as leverage to get back my money she owes me. The woman detective sat with me in the back seat and the soon to be retired detective driving (we chatted a lot) was intrigued when I told them about what I shoot, I was telling it very matter of fact, and told them about Dina’s dungeon in HK etc.  Then I brought up shooting Dominatrix and putting together fantasy and shooting it, and the detective driving was so distracted he literally moved into the wrong lane. When we were in the elevator another cop (they all knew now what I do) asked me I wanted to keep the lock (that was used for storage unit) and he said, “you might need it for one of your photos) and I said, “no, but I could use an extra pair of handcuffs” they all laughed. Liz: they all fucking laughed

Bob: be a nice title for a movie – Ms. Earls Profession

Liz: lol.

Bob: I have to get going

Liz: ok, but I want to tell you more about my jail time, ok?

Bob: I look forward to it. Did you have to service the local bull dyke?

Liz: I didn’t feel sexy there at all. Well.. I take that back.. there were moments . I’m having a t- bone and took a long hot bubble bath ordering wine to feel “human” again. Get my “dignity” back lol

Later:

Bob: back

Liz: oh darn I have a client cuming up I’m actually super tired had only 2 hours sleep last night but “pushing” thru

Bob: here for a bit, keep on trucking

Liz: k thanks for the pep talk ; )

Later, Later:

Liz: well that worked out well. I had an O with this last client by fantasizing about my cell mate’s lol and guards watching us of course

Bob: so you got arrested for stealing papers?

Liz: yeah I put them in storage and then when she was getting unmotivated to pay me the money she owes me, I made an “off handed” remark that I would toss her personal shit all over LA street (you know skid row) apparently once I said that (text it actually – so there was “proof”) it became an extortion charge. Oops. I never actually would have done it; it was just said in frustration over this whole loft disaster. Just wanted her to pay me back – its like 2500 she owes me.

Bob: yeah, I was sort of thinking you were pushing it

Liz: yeah apparently but all in all – I tend to look on the bright side of things.. Like my O just now and the “characters” in my cell – the young one that was high on god knows what latched onto me showed me her sunburn on her tattooed back exposing most of her thong which I happen to own the same one, but wasn’t wearing underwear then (of course) and then she asked how old I was and “checking me out’ I’m sure she is bi at least I told her and she’s like.. no way.. very flattering – but she was high. I told her I have the same thong at home with the bow in back and all that, and she looked flattered that we would have the “same” taste – lol. Then this other chic came in – very tall blonde, probably beautiful before the heroine and meth ate away her face and teeth. I was in the “holding tank” for about 4 hours and about 8 of us were in there by the time I left.

Bob: so, you were the bull dyke in the scenario. Hitting on the younger girls

Liz: you know… I think I was! I didn’t realize that until now even in my fantasy just now, all the women were servicing me this client just had fingers in both holes and was kissing my back, I was laying on my stomach, so I could easily imagine it was at least 3 or 4 of the skanky (no disrespect) girls. There is a raw sex dirty quality to “them” very sexual.

Bob: so you should do a series, the Ravaged Beauties of LA County Jail

Liz: that would be good

Bob: saturated color to highlight both the beautiful eyes and the track marks

Liz: Oh I love it! and they are dressed in what ever they happen to get picked up in, which can be interesting in terms of the mix of women you get in holding.

Bob: you can start hanging out with the cops

Liz: anyway young sun burnt thong girl asked heroine blue eyed girl how she was and she said “36″ and it was obvious she looked much older – but still attractive in that emaciated kind of drugged out way. She started to sit in like a fetal position and looked like at some point she was going to do a summersault right off the (sticky) cement bench. Before she began to regress into position she told us that she had just shot up 10 minutes before she was arrested and it was kicking in. The guy or I guess he was a cop that was taking my mug shot asked me, “what do you do”? They don’t usually strike up conversation with “inmates” so I felt special lol. I said, I’m a photog. and he said, “oh can I get a discount” I said “yeah” and laughed, and added ” you definitely can” thinking he would be excellent for the cougar series (or anything else) I wanted to add if you don’t mind taking off your clothes, maybe do a cop calendar even – possibilities are endless.

Bob: well, try and get a copy of your mug-shot. You can use it as the author’s photo on your book

Liz: I saw it; it’s not my best look. My eyes are pointed way up at the ceiling. He said to look up at the camera so I was trying to find the fucking camera on the ceiling

Bob: not the point, context is gives you street creed

Liz: You know what that’s a really good idea. I think there is a site -( there is for everything these days) that mug shots are posted on line. Anyway, the whole “mess” was cleared up and I was free at 1:30 the next day, everything dropped – no charges. Have you ever been in jail? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want, I won’t judge.. I mean really who am I too judge?

Bob: yes, once in the States, once in China, once in Thailand

Liz: oh my god! You criminal! Lol- I mean.. oh really? Why? You don’t have to tell me (again) if you don’t want, really I promise this time not to judge.

Bob: States was for shoplifting, was 17

Liz: how cute

-condoms?

-chocolate?

Bob: LPs

Liz: they are a bit big too put down your trousers must have been slightly delusional..but I promised I wouldn’t judge lol good thing for 8 track

Bob: Had a long pea coat with a cut in it

Liz: ahhh.

Bob: Had worked for about 100 bucks of records before that

Liz: wow, not bad I’m impressed. You should have stopped while you were ahead – probably the latest David Cassidy record that landed you in jail. I’m kinda turned on right now I had no idea you are a “bad boy”

Bob: China was for “forging” overseas Chinese identification on a hotel register. Thailand was drunk and disorderly

Liz: wow that must have been scary in China? Thailand.. wow that must have been interesting?

Bob: not really, it was just local cops being political. Thailand was scary

Liz: what part was scary, the mix of people? Or the guards that were scary? Btw did you see that I wrote that I was turned on that you are a bad boy?

Bob: all of the above, plus I was stoned and getting paranoid

Liz: oh how awful

Bob: yes, feel free to play with yourself

Liz: If I hadn’t already cum, I would. I say so few nice things to you – just don’t want you to miss them when I do happen to give you a compliment

Bob: ah

Liz: did I tell you about the police ride over to the storage unit?

Bob: yes

Liz: oh.. and about the comment about the cuffs – lol, god I’m so funny.

Bob: hilarious

Liz: and did I tell you that when they were taking me to booking and one cop asked me to turn around so he could cuff me I happen to glance at the bulletin board and there’s John a shinny glossy paper picture pinned to the wall of John smiling with women (cops) on both sides of him lol. Full circle really because when I got my shit back I had a message from Ol ‘man Jay asking if I wanted to have dinner with him and John on Friday lol. Should I bring up the snap shot I saw of him while I was being cuffed lol, should make some interesting dinner conversation. Don’t you think life is funny that way?

Bob: it is indeed

Liz: oh then this other woman came into the scene and she had been in “jail” prison etc a few times. We were all “chit chatting” while in another holding cell and she told “us” how she killed someone we’re like.. uh.. wow we’re here for like robbery and well maybe some heroine and shit but she says, “Yeah I blacked out when I was drinking and ran over someone , she got 4 years” – so “clearly” justice was served

Bob: ah, I was hoping she had strangled them with her thighs

Liz: I have to say – we all kind of looked at her with eyes wide and all thinking shit – I am never drinking again well at least not drink and drive lol. when we got back to” A block” lol I hopped up onto the top bunk (not easy to get up onto btw, tried to look graceful doing it) she asked me, “what’r u n fo blondie”?   I assumed she was talk’n to me and felt like that was quick to get a nick name ; ). I said, “extortion.. with a smile, because I am partly thinking how ridiculous it all was and also and had been thinking of Martha Stewart and Paris Hilton earlier, and also thinking that is such a “white” crime they all kind of looked at me and the drunk killer and me “w’as that”? Most of them didn’t have teeth.. but I added them in for my fantasy.

are you paying attention? An “ahh” or an “o” would be good

Bob: yes, with every pore of my being

Liz: ok good. So I explained it as best I could and she asked, “How much does she owe you”? I said 2500. I seemed to get the same reaction of shock we all had earlier when she told us she killed someone.

so.. I guess that’s all it was very traumatic for me being there ya know. I make “light” of it to some degree now, but it really was a very scary position to be in. I couldn’t sleep so I thought of James holding my hand (he’s been there before) and him telling me it’s going to be ok, and I felt comforted

Bob: well, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger

Liz: true. I always look to the bright side.. like.. my “O” just now and when I got in my car with the top down and the wind blowing in my hair – I had a whole new appreciation for everything -freedom babee its weird that there were no clocks and they keep the lights on, so you loose complete sense of time, like Vegas but not as fun

Bob: well you have done your hard time now

Liz: I hope so; next time (if there is a next time) I might call you to bail me out ..k? I’ll bail you out too if you get arrested again. We can be “bail out buds” lol. ok well sleep tight

Bob: ok, sleep well

Liz: x